Friday... thoughts.

Today, I'm wiped out. A car alarm kept me up quite a bit last night. I hate those things... they aren't even effective.

Tonight I'm headed to my Grandma's house for my uncle's birthday party. Generally speaking he has PMS every year on his birthday and on most holidays. I'm guessing it will be a good time so long as people are in good moods, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I'm a little nervous and apprehensive. My Grandma can only take so much more drama in her life. Between her 3 kids, she has enough.

The party has me thinking about my family... and how I can't stand the way they are with one another. I have never seen a group of people so jealous, fake and hostile in my life. And yet, in my heart, I think they love each other. It's plain selfish. I see that I want to move and just get away from it all - I wonder if that makes me part of it or makes me better than it. Neither probably.

This weekend I was hoping to drive upstate to Sterling Forest State Park - near Bear Mountain. I was hoping to take some pictures with the DSLR, have a picnic and go for a short hike. It' looks like with my car on the fritz, that won't be happening. I likely will be sitting home... but the weather is to be nice and I'm craving the outdoors so I thought where can I go somewhere new, somewhere green, somewhere clean... and I thought The Cloisters might need a visit. I've been once before it and it was beautiful. I love seeing the old architecture and the indoor outdoor feel of the place. The best part is that it's off the beaten path near Fort Tryon. That means, after checking out the museum, I can wonder aimlessly in the park and still have my picnic.

I'll see where my weekend takes me but I hope it takes me someplace good.

I've hyper-linked many of the places I've spoken about so that any of you local NYers who wish to check the places out can do so.

If Money Were No Object

What things on your dream list would you be able to buy? I'm not talking Porche or Mansion here, I'm talking things that you already hope to buy one day through saving, etc...

• A Green Home (that's a stretch I know... it's close to dreaming but oh how I want it)
• VW Jetta Sports Wagon TDI (Clean Diesel) - but I'm hoping the Malibu lasts another few years.
• Lots of Wool and Bamboo yarn hanks in bright colors
• A wooden yarn spindle and ball winder
• Canon SLR lenses (fish eye, wide angle & telephoto zoom)
• Salomon Lily GIFT snowboard boots (they are eco friendly)
• Sierra Crew (Cambered) Snowboard
• Netbook
• E-Reader
• A beach vacation this summer
• Sewing lessons
• Photography school

I'm sure there is more ... but I can't think of any at the moment. I'd maybe pay for my mom's mortgage if I had millions, but that's a stretch.

WIP - Update (I know it's Thursday)

After I posted last night I continued to work on my bag. I ate some left overs, poured myself a glass of sangria, sat on the couch, pressed play on the DVR and went to town... and then as I went further and further and further along with it... I realized... my row is decreased around row 15, which means when I sew it together, it will be lopsided. So what did I do....

I unraveled my 32 rows of stitching.... up to about 7. And now... I begin again...

WIP Wednesday

I've been trying to figure out a way to organize my crafts and needle work... this isn't exactly a work in progress... but really it is.


Here is a for now solution:

My dining room table with basket of yarn, boxes of junk and some projects - at least they are in 1 place

I used a small yellow flower pot to hold my hooks, needles and scissors

This is the good ole basket of yarn

And here is what needs a nice organized pretty box to hide, my ribbon, sewing stuff, paints, brushes, glue gun, glue sticks, fabric glue, etc...

And here are 2 bags of old WIPs finally finished. My headbands are pretty much done. I have 3 left that are WIPs but I needed a break. One pattern for too long gets boring.

And I'm trying to make this bag... the pattern is from Stitch n' Bitch: Happy Hooker I hope it comes out good. I have about 20 rows done. I started it last night at the 1st Stitch n' Bitch meet up. I wish I took pics last night but I totally forgot.

Here is the project at the moment.

Here it is up close. It's basically 1/2 double crochets

Here is a photo of the book's picture. I'm going to attach the flower and not the ribbon to mine. I chose my own colors and type of yarn as well.

Here is a close up of both versions

And here is a last picture... I hope it comes out at least close

as always you can click the pictures to see them larger

Nook vs Kindle

I might be willing to take the plunge into the E-book world. I am not a library person. I love owning my books. I like to physically see them sitting on my book case. But enough is enough (I think).

I've done the research, I've read the articles. Are E-Books really greener. An article in the NY Times suggests it is.

It states, on average, the carbon emitted over the live of the device is offset after the first year of use. It goes on to quote "The new study finds that e-readers could have a major impact on improving the sustainability and environmental impact on the publishing industry, one of the world's most polluting sectors." And goes further to state, printed books have the highest per-unit carbon footprint.

But it also states that unless these E-book sales or anticipation of reduce printing of books, there is effectively no positive impact on the environment. E-book sales are on the rise and print sales are down, but what will the long term outcome be? Who is to know.

The Cleantech study concluded that purchasing three e-books per month for four years produces roughly 168 kilograms of CO2 throughout the Kindle’s lifecycle, compared to the estimated 1,074 kilograms of CO2 produced by the same number of printed books.

Can you imagine?

And of course - the plastics, toxins, etc.. that go into making an E-reader are kept hush hush... so how would you weigh it?

I'm still on the fence, teetering over to the E-book side but I haven't yet taken the plunge. I went to Barnes and Noble today and checked out the Nook. I think I like it over the Kindle. But I don't know. I would only want to read on it, so it's MP3 player, and other fancy doo dads would do little to sway my decisions. I care more about price (of the books), user friendliness, and durability.

If I do it... if I jump into the E book world... I have choices... The Nook or the Kindle.... I don't know which way I'd go. HELP!!!

Stitch n' Bitch

Today is the 1st night of Stitch n' Bitch. It's an idea taken from the book.

Knitters and Crocheters basically get together to stitch... while they bitch. People get to know one another, talk, learn from each other, be inspired and encouraged by one another... and while they are there they enjoy a few snacks or tea.

So I did some research to find a SnB in my area and found nothing remotely close. So I decided instead to start an unofficial one of my own for now. My sister, cousin, and possibly my sister's friend will be at my house tonight, crocheting, chatting, munching and hanging out.

I hope it turns out well =)

WIP Wednesday post might have more than just my pictures!

One Day.... I'll be a Mom

I hope... that i can be and when I am, I hope that I am mature and selfless enough to give them a beautiful and wonderful life... something honestly don't believe happens nearly enough.

I won't tell my child that:
They ruined my life.
That my life ended when theirs began.
That their opinions mean nothing.
That they are ungrateful and rotten.
That hiding the bad is how to live strongly.
That they are insignificant.
That they should be scared of me.

I won't:
Hit them.
Leave them.
Neglect them.
Manipulate them.
Trick them.
Lie to them.

And when someone else does:
I will hug them.
I will listen to everything no matter how hard.
I will try to understand.
I will sacrifice.
I will show them love.
I will be there for them.

And when I fail:
I will say I'm sorry.
I will try harder.
I will work at it till I succeed on being what he/she needs me to be.

And when I'm lost:
I will let them know that I need nothing from them... nothing but their love
I will hug them
Hold them
Love them
And explain that everything they could do... they've already done, by loving me with their hearts.


One day, I'm going to be a parent. When I am, I hope that I am a better parent than my own. I hope that rather than reflect who they were, I am better. I hope that I will be a great mother. I hope that I will be a good wife. I hope that I have a full life. And I hope and pray to never abuse the power of love.

I will pray today... and every day, that God grant me the miracle of parenthood... and that God provide me with the love and support I'd need in order to reflect his greatness onto my children.

Readers?

I dont know if anyone really reads this... I don't know if anyone aside from my cousin follows this. But I'm considering privatizing it. I want to make it personal again. I want to be able to write my feelings without it being able to be accessed by the world.

If I were to, would you miss it? Would you care?

Let me know... because then... I'll give you access.

Crafting Organization

I need to work on organizing my crafts... why - because they are all over my living room.

The perfect corner would actually be where my dining room table sits at the moment. No one uses it. We don't eat at it anymore... since it's crammed in a tight corner. And Paul isn't home... sitting at a table alone can feel lonely. So I don't use it for anything but opening the mail.

At the moment my non-yarn related craft tools are in small boxes, shopping bags, or ziplocks thrown about our overflow closet. It's hard to find things, and honestly, this closet is a mess as it is. That needs it's own organizational blog... and pictures. (Be afraid).

So I'm trying to think of ideas. I live in a 1 bedroom apartment. Each corner of the space is occupied with furniture, plants, or electronics. So I figure I need to play with what I have while only adding a few frugal pieces of organization. It needs to be beautiful and functional.

So here is my table in the corner:
Here is my basket of yarn:
My yarn can sit in the basket... it's cozy there. It's also a good way to tell me to stop! When that basket is full, my trips to the craft store are few... because I have enough to work with. It's the perfect size.

What needs organization is the scissors, needles, hooks, fabric glue, fabric, sewing machine, craft paper, paints, exacto knife, and glue gun. So it's time to think.

I came up with 2 ideas:

The 1st was to purchase a small side table like this from Ikea for $30. The shelf at the bottom can hold my basket of yarn and above can sit a decorative box with all my other goodies. But it seemed like a lot of money to spend on a table that wont be useful for anything else and doesn't even match my living room.

So Idea #2 was to use that dining room table. My yarn basket can sit by the couch and wonder about the rooms I'm crocheting in as it always has, but those other pieces of goodies can sit a top the table... in boxes, organized, nice, neat and out of the way. Baskets... boxes... for under $10 would do the trick.

Hiding... in plain sight
Then one day - when we have the room - I'll have a craft room... and maybe it can look something like this:

I love the space, the organization, the crafts and computer all in one place. I hate... the color.

I love the light, the brightness, the organization, the height, the use of this little corner, the color... I would want a spot for a computer (for pictures & research & printing)

I love the light, the brightness, the sitting area, the organization and fresh flowers

What I envision is a small room with lots of natural light, with a desk used as an office space. Where Paul and I can go online, do research, upload pictures and do some office work. In that same room, I picture shelves, filled with baskets of yarn, fabric, paints and crafts materials. I picture boxes, filled with paper work, craft paper, and other paper products, and jars filled with buttons, paint brushes, hooks, scissors, etc... I picture sage green or light yellow walls, a comfortable love seat or extra large chair, a stereo with great music, and scented beeswax candles.

That would be my perfect room... a room to retreat in. A room to relax in. A room to feel organized in. A room to share.

What do you say Paul? Can we turn our home office into an office/craft center?

Confession:

A post earth day confession. I'm a poser! I'm not as green as I say or need to be. Paul's been calling me out on it and he's right. I fell off the wagon and am running behind trying to get back on, but I can't seem to keep up. So here is my confession.

I boast, I yell, I lecture... but here's the truth... I don't always get it right. You know that toilet paper roll ... made out of paper... I've been known to throw it in the trash. Thankfully Paul sees it and pulls it out to put it in recycling. Since Paul's left... I've been eating out or ordering in more... not very healthy and not very eco-friendly. I've been buying more than I need. I've been using non eco-friendly cleaning products when it's easier (laundry detergent, dish soap, bathroom cleaner). But to my defense, we had it under the sink and it didnt seem to make sense to replace it with something else until what we have is done.

But ... I'm jumping back on the wagon. No more lazy excuses... it's time to get outside, breath fresh air, plant a tree, eat local, eat at home, go for walks, cook my meals, and jump back onto ensure my recycling is 100%... oh and to stop buying things I don't need or even REALLY want!

They got jokes...

So yeah, I have a big group of 'friends'. They aren't the best, they aren't the closest, but we talk... daily. We joke, daily... we enjoy each other... daily... but sometimes the jokes... I can't find them funny.

One on going joke seems to be regarding roofies and rape. I can't find that funny... ever. I can't be comfortable joking about it. I can't find it okay.

The other is abortion, not procreating, eating babies, or throwing yourself down the stairs if you are preggo. I can't find that funny either. And I'm pro-choice. But I think women... good women, make that choice with a heavy heart. It's not a joke.

So yeah - I wonder. When they joke... are they pretending to be cool or are they okay with this? Do they say it on the outside but don't mean it on the inside? Or is this the type of people they are.

I don't know... it makes me sad that people think or talk like that. That's all.

WIP Wednesday

just in time...

I've been working only on headbands until this craft fair

My Life

I lose sight of things at times. I forget. I forget what's good.

My life is so full and so rich. I've done so much and have the ability to continue on. I've traveled, I've lead, I've followed, I've entertained, I've been accepted, I've embraced, I've shown, I've sat, I've held on, and I've let go. I've been inspired. My life... it's full.

Every day, I need to sit, breath, soak up what I can, and remember... that my heart, my soul, my life... is full.

Riding Log: Day 30-32 (Sugar Bowl & Squaw, Tahoe)

Sierrapalooza was this past weekend and it was a blast. I got a get out of jail free card and was able to work from home on Thursday. Lauren met me for lunch and I was off to the airport to met Z for our flight out to Sacramento (she is coming from Ottawa). The flight was uneventful, but what came next was where the fun begins.

Thursday Night:
Levi & MT picked us up from the airport and we headed to L's house. We all chilled with 3 other guys at Levi's house where we crashed that night. Drinking, chatting, and bbgun shooting was had till about 4AM (7AM NY time) at which point, I parked my ass on some cushions on the floor and hit the hay. 4ish house later I was up, showering and getting ready for breakfast.

Friday:
We headed for the store after breakfast and met up with a bunch of staff and members. We all sat around talking, drinking, messing around etc... and then we were Tahoe bound. We got to the hotel and checked in and began the party... drinks, laughs, pics, party flips, 2 kegs were done, a full bar, done, stupidity was had by all. This is what happens when you give snowboarders teh run of an entire hotel and their own personal bar. (Paul and Andy arrived late)

Saturday:
Some of the best riding ever! The morning started off crusty and got soft fast! We started with some groomers and ended in the park. Park laps were had till the heat became too much and we headed back to the lodge to leave our jackets. At the Disney lift we found Mike and Nikki (owner of SS) and did a few laps on Lincoln with them. Oh my is Nikki bad ass! She is SO FAST and so good! It was insane trying to keep up on my SMF. We headed back to the park where I hit the 1st jump in the medium jump line and landed it. I did it 3 times. It wasn't clean, it wasnt pretty, but I did it, and I was proud.

Sunday:
We packed the car and headed back out for our last day at Sugar Bowl. We did a bunch of laps on Disney and Lincoln going at ridiculous speeds in groups too large to be safe. Then we headed to Judah for park lapse where I hit the jumps more and more. I was so stocked (new lingo) on taking the jumps. So proud of myself. So excited. So fulfilled. I know I have a lot to learn - taking speed, landing soft, being flat, but i dont care - I DID IT! We rode all day until we were weak in the knees and the lifts were closed. We said our good byes to the gang and hiked back to our car. Packed in... and I mean tightly and drove to truckee (passing Donner lake) where we checked into a hotel for the night. We met up with others staying a bit longer and visited lake Tahoe and had some grub.

Monday:
Monday started off as a disaster. No one was ready, we got to the hill, waited for discounted tickets that got denied. It was a mess, but I loved Squaw. It was huge, it was fun and there was just so much. I loved the bowls, I loved the groom, I loved the kickers... and I did their jump line clean the 1st try. It was an easy jump line but I was scared shitless! I did it =). Then I did a bigger one and cleared the knuckle. AND I strait lined the bowl... well not the whole thing but most of it... it was one of the most exciting and thrilling days. This whole season has felt like this... each and every day... something amazing happening!

After that long sweaty day on the hill, we went to Phil and Stacey's to shower up and hit the road. We were off to the airport... reno then sacramento... then home. It was hard sitting there knowing I was saying bye to Paul again... different flights are rough. I rather him leave home on a Sunday than get on separate planes. It's hard to explain.

Overview:
My season is over. The EC is warm. The snow is gone. But my drive hasn't waned. I've had the biggest progressive year of my life. I've worked my ass off overcoming fears and physical limitations. I've ridden faster and harder than I ever have before. I've dipped into steeps that I'd only look at in the past. I went over boxes and jumps I'd only ride around in the past. And I rode with people far better than myself only to drive myself to catch up and get as good.

This year's 1sts:

• Paloozas - Riding with new people (strangers)
• Trees (steamboat)
• Boxes (steamboat)
  
• Trees, Kickers & Pow (Hood)
• Ollies (stowe)
• Jumps (sugar bowl & squaw)
• Riding fast (everywhere)
• Strait-lining (squaw)

And I'm sure there are tons more!



Here are some pics (you can click to view larger)

Paul & Bru chatting

Hanging out on the deck after a long day of shred

Getting attacked by shaka... again

The lifts from the upper deck of the hotel...
when we got there and the lifts stopped turning

Me, Rexy & Caddy, reppin' Sierra from the lift

Darren, Stan, Andy & Paul on the lift (lapping the park)

Jump lines... yep that's me in the air... bad form but still!

Will took 1 look at me (one of the last people coming back) and said, you look like you need this!He thought I might be too weak to pour it into my own mouth


Driving to Truckee, we stopped to check out Donner Lake

Brothers @ the lake

Then we headed to Lake Tahoe for pics and grub with some of the gang

Then on Monday we ended the Season at Squaw - so beautiful with so much terrain!

Yep that pretty much wraps up Shred 09/10 - me and E, we were sad

But it was pretty amazing to end the season in 70 degree weather, sun, and THIS MUCH SNOW!!! in LATE APRIL!

It keeps looping back

I keep thinking about all the garbage going on in my family right now. It leaves a pit in my gut and a heaviness in my chest.

I wonder what would happen if I didnt come back from Tahoe. Or just moved early. I don't need to wait for Paul to graduate. What I need is to get the hell away ... but even away.... it will all be the same

Photography for Dummies

I need to buy that book and take that class!

There is so much I want to learn. So much information I need to absorb!

I basically work above the International Center of Photography. They offer a beginners course I'm looking into. Lets see if funds permit.

WIP Wednesday Post

Here are some of the headbands I'll be selling at the craft fair. I'm getting pretty sick of making them to be honest. These were taken with the new camera!