I'm glad. I'm happy for him. He deserves this.
These are the things I keep trying to convince myself as I let the news settle.
Paul got into Sloan School of Management at MIT. This is an honour, an opportunity, a great feat, and the sole reason for the two of us to be apart.
We got the news today, a week before everyone else who had applied for the Fall 2009 semester. It was great news. The call from Paul was filled with excitement; so much so that I couldn't even understand what he was saying. Repeating "I got into MIT" was in vain, all I heard was "I got to pee".
We celebrated with his family: Mother, Father, Step-Mother, Aunt... and me. It was nice, cozy, warm... and foreign. Nope, I still have not learned more than a lick of Spanish.
As the night begins to weigh down my eye lids and make my bones ache, I think and cannot stop thinking, that in less than 9 months, we again will be long distance. I'll be here and he will be there... but he will be living his dream and how dare I try and stop him.
Our love is strong and our relationship has withstood many tests, especially one's of distance. We survived 6 months of Paul being in Atlanta, followed by 2 years in Michigan with a 6 month rotation in Kentucky. I can't say I didn't miss him during that time, and I can't say I was able to save money. Let's face it... dates cost $250 right off the bat... Northwest and Delta were not cheap.
At least now I'll be within driving distance... which means I can see him often and for less. My job now is far less taxing and I am able to work a far more flexible schedule allowing me to leave on time on a Friday night and head up to Boston. 2 years ago we found ourselves in the same city yet I'd be at work on a Saturday while he sat home waiting for me. This was never fair to him... it wasn't fair to us.
On the bright side, he will advance his education yet again and thus advance his career. Maybe one day he'll be my sugar daddy... my dream is to get married, live in a comfortable home with our children. I don't want to send my children to day care - I'd love to raise them myself... and once they are in school, I'd like to go back to work ... on a flex schedule to be able to continue to guide them. Paul seems to be receptive to this idea of being our provider and I am grateful for it is the old fashioned way.
I guess I just can't stop thinking about how much I'll miss him - while he is there experiencing all that Cambridge and Boston have to offer... all the new people, new sites, and new things to learn, I'll be at my same boring job, living in OUR now somewhat empty apartment, and living the same life I always had, but alone. But I know we will be okay.
On the bright side, Cambridge is only 2H 22M from Loon Mountain... rated best (or 2nd best) ski resort in the North East... I guess I'll be getting some days there ;)
All I ask is that God keep us strong, keep us smart, and keep us in Love.
I know we will be okay... we are strong people. When you want something you make it work... we've made our lives work despite the odds before and we shall again. I'm glad for him, I'm happy that he is living his dream... maybe I'm even a wee bit jealous... but in the end, I'm happy.
Let us always be happy
No comments:
Post a Comment