Long time no post

I've been feeling odd lately and have had no motivation or inspiration to write... but now I find myself back... with something to say.

Bored at work a while back I started google searching friends old and new on the internet for no reason but to see what would pop up. For some reason I decided I wanted to put in John Paul... my ex, my 1st love, and for sometime, my world. Well something did come up, which was surprising... his wedding registry.

I know, I'm engaged, I'm happy, why should it matter... I mean I suppose in the end it didn't matter but it was like I felt gutted and slightly empty. Maybe because despite everything, I still gave a small piece of my heart to him and now I finally know that part is free. Who knows, all I do know is that day I felt strange.

Saturday night I dreamed that JP and I talked... he found out I was getting married and was upset I had never told him myself. He was upset that despite calling every birthday and Christmas, I still couldn't tell him. So on Sunday night I texted him and we played telephone tag till Tuesday. And we talked... I told him about my engagement and he told me about his. We talked about how happy we were... and I wasn't lying. I'm so very happy for him and I'm so very happy for myself. When we broke up I thought I'd never find happiness ... I thought that he was my soul mate and that now I'd be selling myself short. Well I didn't and neither did he. We are both so ridiculously happy that we can talk about it without the least bit of guilt or awkwardness.

I wish him and his lady all the peace, happiness, health and blessings that God can provide for them. What a happy ending.