30

Yep... I'm 30.  It's weird and creepy and kinda sad.  But that's okay. 

I was pretty bummed out about my birthday.  It fell on Memorial Day this year.  Our weekend was fully booked and none of it involved me....
Friday was a bachelor party Paul was invited to
Saturday-Sunday Paul's family came to town to visit and celebrate a belated mother's day
Sunday night - we had a wedding for Paul's buddy from undergrad
Monday - my birthday... we had nothing planned and Andy was in town.

I felt left out.  I felt unloved and underappreciated.  I felt shitty that I couldn't be with my friends and family.  I felt seriously sad.  And I had my period... so I felt doubly emotional.

But life goes on right?

Monday was okay... we went to the city to have some drinks by the water.  I think Andy may have had a different idea of what I wanted than what I did want.  I also think that Paul's lack of planning anything irked me to no end.  I turned 30.  It was a big deal.  If not to him... at least to me.  Doesn't he get that?  I guess not.  Even up till the very end I felt like I was short changed... again.  Really pizza?  Yeah, we watched TV at home and had pizza.  Because Pizza is a lot cheaper than staying in the city and continuing to celebrate.

I wasn't bored.  I could have spent all day basking in the beauty of the day with a beverage in my hand and some snacks.  But ... yeah we went home and had nasty MA take out pizza.  Ugh... pizza in MA makes me miss NY even more.

But alas - some people don't get to celebrate birthdays.  Some people don't get to eat any pizza.  So I should be grateful I suppose.  I'm just finding it really hard being grateful.

My family called... at least most of them.  Some sang happy birthday, some wished me a happy birthday, other's followed that up wtih whining about their jobs, their work outs, their responsibilties or the endless other things people like to complain about.  And some didn't call at all.  Yeah ... I noticed.  And I'm feeling the lack of love.  And I likely won't forget it. 

I decided that I'm allowed to complain once in a while too.... and I am chosing to complain about people.  I'm sick of the BS, I'm sick of the drama, I'm sick of the blame game and I'm sick of the self pity and excuses!  SICK OF IT!  If your life sucks... it's because you made it suck by the shitty decisions you made!  It's not your friends fault, your parents fault, your husbands fault, your jobs fault, your bosses fault, etc...!  NO IT'S YOUR FAULT!  Your life is the way it is because of the decisions YOU MADE!  And my life is the way it is because of the decisions I've made.  Now the only thing that will change that is to CHOOSE TO CHANGE IT!

So yeah... there you go - an entire birthday post dedicated to me complaining.  And you know what....

It's my birthday and I'll bitch and complain if I want to!

Bummer

Getting down seeing everyone's awesome weekend and dinner plans on my birthday weekend while I sit home alone eating crappy pasta. I'm only feeling a lot sorry for myself. This blows...

Backyard

I love how while we are looking for homes ... Paul delightedly imagines camping "trips" in the backyard with our kids.

We don't have kids.

YET.

Weekend of Sun!

This past weekend was amazing. The sun was shining and the days were warm. They inspired me and my husband to ditch many of our chores and enjoy the day. We ordered a bike rack so that I can enjoy more of these days in the future.... we only fit 1 bike in the car so I sipped iced tea and read a book while he did a 17 mile ride.

We also wen't to the garden store, home depot & Costco. Sunday was maybe the most interesting day. Paul ran a 5K. 30 min and 1 sec. Not bad for his 1st run of the season without warming up and having a semi busted ankle. I'm proud of him! After, we met some of his coworkers who also ran for some lunch and drinks. They were cool people and we did have fun. Unfortunately, it cut chore time short.... oh well.

We also went to a new RC Church on Sunday. And we liked it so much better than the other one we tried in the area. I think me may explore joining the parish and getting more involved.

Okay ... so blogs are boring without pictures... so here are a few, but exuse the poor iphone quality.

We planted a few seedlings 2 weeks ago and they are all sproutting like crazy. They are: basil, onion, thyme, pepper, spinnach & chive if I remember correctly.

We purchesed a mint & spearamint plant to make some yummy mint iced teas this summer. They look so sweet in their matching pots.

The jade hasn't been doing to well... likely b/c of the soil I had it in last year. So we repotted it with some succelent soil in a new colorful spring pot. I also bought some fertilizer. So hopefully with some water and some spring sun it will begin to rebound. I can fertilize it and it can continue it's new growth. If any of you can give me advice on this jade, I'll take it. I've had it for 5 years and it's gone from a tiny little thing to this large beautiful plant, but it looks sad and wrinkly... and purple and ... dying. HELP!

And Paul purchased a few cacti a few weeks ago. I finally got around to putting them in pots. The mugs weren't my 1st choice for how to pot and display these guys, but they are kinda cute. Paul's still on the fence about them.

The Difference Between Marriage and Just Living Together

A few weeks ago, at Paul's sister's vow renewal, his niece asked me, "So does it feel different being married as opposed to just living together?"

I gave her question some thought and came up with this....

Aside from the feeling that being married under the blessing of God gives me - here are the practical differences....

No, it's not much different. I still wake up and go to work as does he. We both still fight over the same old crap. We both still laugh and giggle and wrestle on lazy mornings like we always have. We both still share the chores and we both still dream about our future... but what is different - dramatically different = FINANCES!

That whole - whats mine is yours and whats yours is mine thing was a tough one to work out. I mean, my 401K was always MINE. My savings account was MINE. We still have seperate bank accounts and we still manage our $ somewhat seperately. We do talk about all major investments before we jump in, and to us, a major investment is like $300 and up!

So yeah... that's hard and it's an adjustment. For almost a year we had a joint savings and checking account but the only thing sitting in it was our wedding money. We just started adding to it now... and it feels really good. Becuase each deposit brings us one step closer to our future goals... a house & a family.

Kitchen Update

So with spring cleaning in full swing, I convinced Paul to make a few changes to our kitchen. We both love the size of our kitchen but find it a bit lacking in functional space. We both also simply hate the color and cabinetry, however, as renters, there isn't much we could do about that.

We took a drive down south to Ikea. It's a place we don't frequent as it's pretty far and it encourages useless spending. I did however have a clear vision of what I wanted and what I wanted to do with it. Paul and I had differences of opinion when it came to aesthetic appeal, but hey - we have different taste. He's modern... I'm traditional.

I hated how my counter peninsula constantly had stuff on it. I wanted a nice empty work space. So we decided to buy this shelving unit from ikea. It's a great unit because you can stand it upright or on it's side. You can put baskets in them or leave them bare. It's really versatile - we figure when we move it can go behind the couch, against a dining room wall or even in the bedroom.


We currently have our recycle bin sitting towards the left. A top is a wine rack, garlic canister, a plant and a few nic nacs. The cubes from left to right contain:

• Matte set & tea pot
• a few bowls of goodies/food
• placemats, napkins (cloth and paper), trivets
• cookbooks & cutting boards
• empty
• basket of dish towels
• dishwashing & laundry detergent & baking soda
• empty

Great right? Nice and organized yet still not ugly!

We also purchased a magnetic knife set and though it's not ideal in this spot, it works to clear up the counter.

Which leaves me this.... a nice empty counter and prep space to cook! LOVE IT!

Blueberry Muffins

I like simple and that's why I'm definitely going to try this recipe from Homesteading in Maine. Last year my mother and I went blueberry picking... just the two of us. I took home tons of blueberries and used most for smoothies and to pop into my mouth but oh... this would be so much more fun in the morning!