Aquafina ®

Background:

Yesterday I went to Hale & Hearty for some soup and grabbed a bottle of water… Aquafina®. Now I am not a big fan of bottled water (because it isn’t very green) but I have an even bigger problem with Aquafina® and Desani® waters. They aren’t even spring water. Basically it is filtered tap water. So basically it is no different than the water in your fridge sitting in your Brita except this water tastes like plastic. Anyway this is all they had and I just needed water.

Anyway … I got back up to my office and being unbelievably thirsty, I try and open my water. Now, I am by no means a female weight lifter, but I am no scrawny bitch either. I COULD NOT open this water bottle no matter how hard I tried. I used my hands, I tried my teeth, I tried using a napkin to buffer it. NOTHING!

I. Hate. Aquafina®.

The Kicker:

After inspecting said bottle, I came to the conclusion that maybe the seal was fused onto my bottle cap. I then proceeded to take my scissors and hack it away. Finally after 2 small nicks on my palm, I removed said seal and twisted the cap with all my might. Still… no dice.

I then moved on to trying to destroy said bottle cap with aforementioned scissor. And that is when all hell broke lose. My scissor laughed at me mockingly as it slipped off the cap and slid across my right ring finger, slicing the tender flesh deep enough to cause both pain and disbelief. After staring at my wound for a second I grabbed a tissue and began to put pressure as to not bleed to death. I then remembered HBO providing us all with safety packs which contained antiseptic and Band-Aids®. Upon trying to open the backpack and obtain the first aid supplies I realized that there was drips of blood all over my desk … surrounding a pool of blood. You’d think I slit my wrists and was trying to end my dull HBO life. I was finally able to get at the supplies and firmly affixed the Band-Aid® to my still gushing wound.

The Moral:

Not just is bottled water bad for the environment, it is bad for your health.

Epilogue:
This fucking water bottle is still sitting on my desk unopened!!!!