PMS vs Crank vs Stress

PMS? Maybe. Adjusting? Maybe. A sign of something bigger? Maybe.

This week has only just begun and I can already tell that I'm exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and any other way you can be tired.

Things I've noticed:

Paul:
Paul has been home since Friday. Instead of being excited and enjoying our time together, he has grated on my nerves. I'm not as neat as him. He's exceptionally OCD neat. A true minimalist. I'm not... and it's driving me crazy. He comes home constantly to a house I feel is in order (and friends who've come over also thought were fine) and has ridiculed me, harped on me, lectured me and talked down to me. In those moments he talks to me as if I am his child rather than his peer. He forgets that he doesn't live here. He forgets that I'm an adult. He forgets that I pay the bills. He forgets that I demand and deserve respect.

It's brought me way down. I mean I see his side... he can't live like this... but I can't live like that. We need to figure something out and it has to start with how he goes about expressing himself. There is no way I won't snap at him or lash back if he talks to me the way he does. And it's something we need to start working on soon because the wedding is right around the corner.

On a brighter note. Paul is making dinner. Salmon and a big salad... I'm pretty excited for it. He doesn't always do it without help but any help from him is a load off my plate and I appreciate it. Especially after a long day like today.

Jealousy...? Perhaps:
Yesterday I had to take the train up to my mom's to babysit in the night/morning so she could leave super early for yet another unfruitful court date. While on the train we both got to crocheting our respective blankets. She actually said that she may want to switch to something else... sometime the rest of us can't do. The rest of us meant Lauren and I. So I said that as kids she tried to get us to crochet for so long... now she wants us not to?

After some silent thinking... I figured it out. She's likely jealous. Lauren and I, though not as versatile with a hook and thread, are catching up. We are quick learners and we are getting a lot of attention for it. People are asking us for tips. We are being asked for hats, blankets, toys etc... and we are good at it. We are super fast and efficient too. And we are having fun.

So ... jealous much? Probably. One think she has always hated is competition. What's the most threatening competitor but one's younger, skinner, lighter, more efficient daughter.

Friends:
I'm going to see many of them this weekend at Stowe, but I won't be seeing many more. But as for my non-boardsnow friends... I haven't seen them in ages and maybe even grown apart from many of them. I don't think I have 1 girlfriend... yeah sometimes it worries me.

Family:
Has been driving me crazy from birth... nothing has changed though recently they've seen to make me bipolar... giving me immense highs and bottomless lows.

Health:
My back has been bad... I mean bad. It takes all of me not to drown it out with muscle relaxers. The crick in my shoulder is starting to be felt in my elbows and then wrist. It has to be muscular and not nerve... at least I think so.

Additionally - on a gross TMI note, I've had the worst dry scalp ever. The itching is insane. I need to get back on my tea tree oil and medicated wash regimen tonight because it's starting to be noticeable to others.