Friday, November 6, 2009

Selfish & Selfless

I'm frustrated... I feel like lately I've given too much. I've given all I have and never expect anything in return... Well I do expect something. I expect that when I've exhausted all of myself... only holding myself together by a small thread, that people will understand when I say that I can't give more.

Paul's gotten all the best parts of me. I hope it's enough. I hope he doesn't need more; I have nothing more to give.

My Mother is in pain... physically and emotionally. I help her in all the ways I know how, but I had surgery yesterday and asking for me to help her now... it's selfish - I cannot and she needs to understand that even asking is ridiculous.

My friends - they notice my indifference to plans, yet seem not to understand why. I have responsibilities and I have needs... and without fulfilling them, I'll no longer be me.

Being ultimately unconditionally selfless becomes selfish... you spread yourself too thin not helping anyone and most of all - exhausting all of what you have left.

Self. Alone. Singular. You. Are. The. Most. Important. Piece. Of. You.

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