Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Selfish is in the Eye of the Beholder?
Being sick sucks ass! No one likes being sick unless you are 15, didn't study for the statistics midterm and need to stay the fuck home! When you are 26, have a job and are fairly active, the last thing you want to be is sick... especially when it comes at your full force on a Friday! That means you are out of commission for a whole weekend... your treasured weekend that you worked so hard for. Fuck you, Acute viral rhinopharyngitis, AKA Cold Virus!
So Thursday I took off to take the kids to Hunter Mountain and that all went fine until 7:30 P.M. when I started to ache all over, cough, and just feel like shit. I took some meds and went to sleep hoping some rest would prove beneficial and drive to NYC for work the next day, but no dice. I woke up with a swollen throat, runny nose, and thinking my world was crashing... a top my bed head skull. So I called in sick. Yes I called my boss at 7:15 thinking anyone with a job would be awake and woke him and his new born up... woops! But now we know why he's usually late and disheveled. He lives in Westchester and is still in bed at 7:15! ANYWAY...
I only got worse as the day went on. I drove home around 1:30 and just laid on my couch snuggled in a blanket watching DVR'd shows I'd missed during the week. I had organized a dinner with about 8 friends that night and thought that I might have to cancel, but I pulled myself together and got dressed ... tissues in purse... and headed into NYC. I made it clear to Paul that I would like to have dinner and immediately GO HOME. My nose was running faster than Usain Bolt, my lips were as dry as the Sahara dessert, and my throat was more swollen than Ron Jeremy's penis while filming a porno. Forget it, I didn't even taste my food! Did I mention that I also couldn't hear out of my right ear. I was a mess! At the conclusion of dinner we paid the bill and stood outside saying our almost goodbye's when my lovely boyfriend announces, "Lets go to the bar and grab a drink". Clearly this wasn't part of my "I want to do dinner and go directly home" plan. I made sure to say so a few times, getting angrier with each passing moment only to get... "Lil, it's just 1 drink". So I lost that argument... sitting in the dead poet on 8th avenue, sipping on a New Castle I couldn't taste I watched sports center and looked at all my friends bored faces. Then Paul ordered drink 2... what was going on here! I was the one sick and I offered to go home alone so they could enjoy, but no ... he wanted me to tag along. This coming from the person who wants me to snowboard tomorrow... how will I get better by tomorrow if I'm out walking in the cold of windy New York City? How will I be able to get up at 5:50AM, snot free and unswollen ready to take on the slopes? Well .... read on:
At the ripe hour of 5:55, Paul woke me up asking how I was feeling to which I responded in my Nyquil induced grogginess, "there is no way I can go today." He stayed and stared at my 1/2 sleeping body for about a minute so I said, "are you still going to go?". This is where our funny relationship kicks in... I know he wants to go and I don't mind him going, but I know he feels bad that I can't go too so he says, "I don't know, should I?". I love that he asks me permission... I mean I appreciate it, but its not necessary. I am not an asshole keeping him home when I know it snowed buckets on Thursday and the conditions will be good. Not to mention my friends were going too and he'd have a lot of fun with them. I told him to go and he went... and I went back to sleep.
Around 4 he called me to tell me they were done, to which I yelled my anger b/c I had finally gotten to sleep and he and my friends have been calling non-stop. He said he just wanted to say he'd be leaving soon and I said goodbye and goodnight! 25 minutes later my phone is ringing again and that was that... no more sleeping for me. He asked me if I wanted dinner... I said yes. Soup would be nice right? He then went on to say that the guys wanted him to stay up for the night and what I thought! Well let me see, you just said you were going to pick me up some dinner and I'm home alone sick and YOU have my car!?!? What do you think!? This is when I hung up the phone.
It's bad enough I had to stay home and not ride on Saturday. I was lonely, bored, and sick. I felt left out and I was not happy. And now he wants to stay the night to get drink, sit in a hot tub and have a good time while I don't have anyone to accompany me, get me dinner, or even a car to do it myself? I don't know... was it selfish of me? I suppose I could have managed but I'd been home all day alone and he's been having a blast since 8AM. Is it too much to ask that he come home?
So now it's Sunday and I wake up feeling horrendous. Per Paul I thought I was going to die. Which I very well may have. I was so winded from the congestion and felt horrible. The skin on my nose was literally peeling away from tissue overuse.
I was laying on the couch watching the NCIS marathon (yes I love that show) with Paul when he asked if he could play video games. I said later... to which he waited all of 30 minutes and started playing. We only have 1 TV so after watching him play for a few rounds I took a turn which was clearly too much finger and mental exertion for me b/c I then retreated to my bedroom to lay down feeling horrible. Paul then asks (while on the phone with our friend Anthony) if he can have Anthony over to play video games and have pizza. I said it was fine but really ... you tell me, when you are sick, do you want anyone around you (and how do you say no when they are listening to you from the other end of a phone line? You'd think he'd hang up THEN ask me)? Especially someone of the opposite sex? Especially if they are taking over your only TV, having beer, and being loud? Watching TV and laying on my fat sick ass is just about the only entertainment I had this weekend and now it was being taken away from me. I would have hopped that then he'd return TV privileges to me until his buddy got there but no... not just did he play video games BEFORE he got there, DURING the time he was there, but also AFTER HE LEFT... I was bored silly. Oh but lets not forget that I was pissed the fuck off! (to know why, read below)
I had expressed that I wanted soup earlier that day. Paul called his friend and asked if he would want to split a white pie from the pizzaria. Then I heard Paul placing an order ... no SOUP! So I called him into the bedroom and told him I thought it was pretty ridiculous that he'd call his friend to confirm his dinner order and not mine. To which he responded... you said you want soup, I can just get that when we pick up. Did he ask what soup I'd want? NO. Did he ask me if maybe I'd want pizza? No. I was just fuming at this point so I told him forget it I'd just lay down and figure it out later... to which he responded "Good you can eat what we get and like it!" This is when Paul gets the most mature... he sometimes gets frustrated and stoops to amazingly immature levels of language. He won't curse or make a scene but he will be the biggest ass... EVER. At this I wanted to smack him but instead closed the door, read my book and took a nap.
A few hours later I found myself awake and a bit hungry and went into the kitchen to make myself a grilled cheese (I don't really like white pizza). Paul went into the kitchen to grab a beer and asked me something to which I responded with silence. He then told me I was acting like my Mother and that I was being stupid. Still I said nothing. I was in no mood. I knew that I was just waiting to erupt and that we had a guest over. I knew I was still sick and I knew I needed my space. So I just stayed in my room and relaxed. I read my book and took naps and that was that.
Now some of you may think it was me who was selfish... wanting Paul to end his night early because I felt sick on Friday, come home after snowboarding on Saturday, and not having a friend over on Sunday but I'll also say this... when you are sick wouldn't you want the same... especially in your own house... wouldn't you want the right to just be alone?
Also, I gave the option of going home myself on Friday night. I'm 26 and am more than comfortable with the E and F trains. It wasn't 3AM for goodness sakes. On Saturday, I didn't give him a guilt trip or beg him to stay home and forgo a day of snowboarding with friends. And on Sunday, I didn't make a scene or whine about him having a friend over.