Friday, October 10, 2008

Expectation

It’s kind of funny how people expect things. Expectation is human nature. Each of us has an expectation of ourselves, and expectation of others. That also means that people have expectations of us as well. If none of us had expectations, then there would be no such thing as disappointment.

I must admit that in many ways I’ve fallen short of my own expectations of myself. If 5 years ago (2003, when I was graduation college) you were to ask me where I’d be in 5 years I’d have a completely different story than the one for which I live. I would have said that I’d be a CPA, possibly a manager at PwC or working as a manager somewhere else, and I’d probably say I’d be married, maybe even owning my own place (even if it’s a coop or condo). You might have even heard me say that I’d be on my way to maybe having children. Well was I WRONG! I am far from owning my own place, and with the market so bad, who knows when I will be in the market for some real estate. I’ve never sat again for my CPA and have little to no motivation to. I am not even engaged, let alone married, and I don’t talk to Paul about getting engaged either. All in all, I definitely fell short of my expectations, but I couldn’t say that’s a bad thing. I may not have exceeded everything on my list of “To Do’s” in the past five years, but I have done a number of other things, and experienced thousands of things that weren’t on that list. Maybe it was a blessing, for had I gone the route I’d planned, I’d have missed out on all of that.

Expectations have to be communicated. If they aren’t you are bound to fail. This is true in all ways of life, in parenting, in friendships, in romantic relationships, even professionally. And the communication cannot be unilateral. A parent must make their children aware of their expectations, and that same child should communicate to their parents what it is they expect in order to grow, learn, and be successful. Friends should communicate their expectations concerning their relationship, no matter how you define “friend”. In a relationship, one must communicate what they expect from one another or the relationship is on the express lane to failure. And in your career, you must ensure that your boss’ expectations are communicated to you, understand them, and are willing to perform them, and in turn, convey to them what it is you expect of them whether it be coaching, independence, extra responsibility, etc…

Expectation can loosely be defined as hope. Hope then again, may not be defined as expectation. I hope that one day I will win the Lotto, but I don’t expect to, however I expect to live a happy life, and I hope to live one as well.

I’ve read in a few places to expect little for you’ll never be disappointed. I strongly disagree. I think there are certain things we should expect and when life falls short, we should be motivated to act in order to change that. We should all expect and demand respect. I don’t think any individual should disrespect another. I think we should expect to be loved and I think we should expect to give it. I think we should expect to have to sacrifice, and we should expect to have to fight for what we believe in. I’m sure we should expect a number of other things and I’m sure each person has their own priorities when it comes to their expectations.

“Expect more than others think is possible”

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