Thursday, January 22, 2009

22 Days

It’s been a while. Work has been hectic and busy. That accounting end of year stretch that makes me cringe followed by the ceaseless transformation into 2009 has finally began it’s slow decent into yesterdays.

Much has happened in 2009 already… I still have no resolution by the way. I’ve been spending ample time with Amanda and Kyle which is always great. Years ago after the breakup between John Paul and me, I’d repeatedly go upstate on the weekends from an escape from my new found single life, not to mention the demise of my closest friendships with Chris and Lisa. Amanda and I were close but never like her and Lauren… the two peas in a pod… they just connect. Kyle was just a little lump of poop and cries, now almost 5 and talking a mile a minute. He plays soccer and he skis… a boy after my own heart. Sadly he wants to be just like Amanda, not me, but I guess that’s what happens when you live over and hour away and only get to see them ever 2 weeks or so.

I must admit I’ve somewhat neglected to see my Grandma as much as I had in the past. The weekends are spend on the slopes for me and the weeknights have been lazy. Not to mention an aunt is visiting right now and therefore she isn’t alone. She’s been negative and drowning in self pity since my grandpa passed away and instead of trying to help herself she just feeds her depression by insulting everyone else and being unhappy with all of our lives… being the case, I’ve avoided her probably almost subconsciously.

Lauren’s wedding planning is falling into place and despite her issues with my mother (no they are still not talking) I think it will be a good event. In fact, I took tomorrow off so we can go order her dress. Sometimes I must think about myself though, and how this is way more stress than any wedding is worth… but to each her own. I suppose I’m just not a big deal type of person. My tiny snowboard wedding is definitely the way I’m going to go.

Work has turned from ok to miserable. I’m bored, under challenged and unfortunately surrounded by people I don’t completely care for. I no longer can say I like the culture as I believe its true colors have only shown since December. At first I was infatuated with the climate… it was warm and friendly in comparison to the corporate culture you usually are surrounded with in finance. Well was I wrong… instead of being rewarded for our solidarity and ability to take relationships beyond formal office banter (without slipping tongue or a hand down each other’s pants) we were all reprimanded for being friendly. I don’t understand this at all… it seemed things got out of hand when they heard laughter in the hallways and social luncheons that are just not common amongst accountants and they had to put an end to it. Additionally, I work with a bunch of slackers and being a bit of an overachiever myself, I cannot tolerate it. And FINALLY, I feel bored… I know I can do more and better work than this tedious crap I’m subjected to as of late.

On the plus side, I’ve come to understand how much I love Paul. Having come face to face with the fact that he may be moving to Boston within the year has helped me to appreciate his presence while I have it. His annoying personality is still very prevalent, but I think I may tolerate it more… because once it’s gone, I know I’ll miss it. He cares about me a lot and I cannot argue with that as he shows it in all his actions. He’s been really understanding of my family politics and drama which is more than I can say for every man in my past life. And all in all, I just know we can get through anything. We’ve faced bigger and harder challenges than most couples will in their lifetimes in only four years and are still holding strong. I know that he’s my partner for life in all my future endeavors. He will be the 1st one to congratulate me or the 1st one to pour me a drink after a failure. He knows me and accepts me just the way I am… though I’m sure he wishes I could stay up past 10PM more often.

2009 will be an interesting year indeed. I hope it works itself out well and I hope that hard work and determination pay off. I hope that relationships are mended and I hope that lives are improved. My own life has taken dramatic turns in the past 22 days… as has our countries. I’m sure each and every one of us will be fighting our own battles this year and I wish us all luck.

1 comment:

Kat said...

As I have learned in the past with relationships with anyone; it's not how you get along when everything is all well and dandy. A relationship is tested and defined by how you whether the hardships that come your way. And you have endured plenty, and I'm glad you're with someone who doesn't mind standing beside you as it all hits, and will be there for you to help re-group after it passes.