Thought Questions:

Lately, I've been busy... to busy. I haven't really blogged and I haven't really read, but today, I can catch up a bit. Many of you know that once Andy had sent me an email with some excerpts from thoughtquestions.com and now I'm hooked!

So here are a few from the last few days:

I can name a few things I really want in this moment. I don't know if I truly want 1 more than the others but if I had to chose 1 I'd say the health and love of my family to flourish. Not just my blood family, but my whole family.

I'm waiting for Paul. Once he finishes school, we can begin to plan our short term life together... but we've wasted no time thinking and dreaming about our future.

I honestly believe that what makes love last is mutual respect. I believe that with respect you allow your relationship to be filled with God, love, understanding, trust, etc...

I've learned what it means to try and be more than I am. And I think in trying to be more than I am... I've become more than I was.

Very little comes from suffering. You must work hard, pray hard, try hard and love hard to accomplish all good things, but through those times, you may suffer. The results do not come from the suffering. It is only a byproduct.

Happy, married in a healthy relationship, a mother, I friend, a companion, a sister, a daughter, a granddaughter and a better human being than I am at this moment.

Making my mother-in-law happy and helping her feel loved.

4 Weddings

Has anyone heard or seen this show on TLC? It makes me sick to my stomach.

1st off - some background:
4 brides compete to win a honeymoon of their dreams. The way this works is for each bride to attend eachothers' weddings and are then told to rate them from a score of 1-10. In the end, the bride with the most points wins.

I hate this show for the simple reason that they take marriage out of wedding. How dare some one else compare what they believe is a good wedding based on the weather, the body type and dress fit, venue location, food choice and liquor availability. It makes me sick.

Not just do those women not deserve a free honeymoon, but they don't deserve a marriage... they need to 1st evaluate their priorities and remember a wedding is not about the wedding DAY but about the MARRIAGE that they will live EVERY DAY.

Siblings

I'm glad I have so many... and the in-law kind too!


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M-I-L

I simply have one of the most amazing mother in law's in the world. There isn't much more to say than that. She raised two amazing sons. I'm lucky enough to be marrying one and be best of friends with the other. She struggled and worked hard to give her kids a life that she thought they deserved. She sacrificed so much for her family. And she just gave the biggest gift through one of the biggest sacrifices anyone can give... she extended the life of her two boy's father... by giving him one of her kidneys. I've been with her ever since and I've learned so much about her... but what I learned most is that I can only wish to be as strong and forgiving and compassionate as this woman. And I can only hope to follow in her footsteps and raise children as well as she had.

She does everything with grace, dignity and love. And I admire her. I'm grateful and lucky to have spent these last few days with her. Despite the circumstances being what they are... we've talked, we've bonded, we've loved... and I've learned so much more about her. I'm truly grateful for this time, for this chance, for this opportunity to bring myself closer to one of the most exceptional women I've ever been privilaged to meet, let alone call one of my mothers.

I wish her a fast recovery and high spirits through the hard days. I know that they will come when we can no longer keep her mind and body occupied the way it must in these days after surgery. I also pray for the health of my father in law. I hope that he recovers quickly and continues to improve and work hard at treating that kidney the way it needs to be teated... with excerise, a proper diet and a proper attitude. I'd be honored to house one of my MIL meals inside me...let alone an organ. And I know if I was able to carry her with me forever, I would, and I'd provide that part of her a home it would deserve.

I love my new family... and I thank God that I've found not just a man whom I love more than everything on this earth, but a family that I'm proud to call my own. I'm happy that this little family of 5 (yep ... Daisy too) is now 6... and hopefully soon will become 7 and once that happens... I hope my children have the honor of growing up with Andy's and Lauren's and then this family will grow even bigger. I family who wouldn't think twice about giving a husband, brother, wife or cousin the gift of life.

Mrs. Socks

I am totally lucky that for the most part I get along with my future in-laws. I love his family... each and every member of them are loved... even when they make me mad.

His family has respect for me, my family, and my traditions, though they impose their own on occasion... that's normal. 2 families are becoming 1, right? So with that, some pressure to share your own becomes pretty apparent.

Either way... I'm grateful that I find Paul's parents completely caring and loving... as well as lovable. I am so happy that I can consider Paul's brother a close friend. Had he not been my future bro-in-law, I'd still consider him my friend.

Because sometimes you read something like this... and it makes you think that you are the luckiest woman in the world. I feel so sorry for her and what she has gone though... but it shows that once married... your spouse really does become your life!

Like in the Bible:

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
-Genesis 2:24

Reply Reply Reply

Tonight, upon getting home and checking the mail, I noticed we got our 1st response card back. I was kind of excited to open it... and once I did, I was less excited.

It's not that I didn't expect it. It's not even like I didn't already know. But opening your 1st decline is a little disheartening. Anyway... it is one of Paul's brothers. It is because of this that it brought me down.

This particular brother hasn't exactly been a big presence in Paul's life... especially at big events. He is quick to attend a BBQ ... eat and run. He is generally unreliable to be present at most affairs though. A lot of that had changed after his son was born... but it didn't change enough. He generally doesn't reply to RSVPs so I suppose we should feel grateful. He also manged to say yes to Paul's bachelor party.. then not show. Not only didn't he show, but Paul had to call his house and then talk to his wife... then to him before he made up some excuse. He never showed up to a graduation or any other big event either. So why act surprised? Well... because he and his wife talk a lot of shit about how we should be a bigger presence in their son's life. They want to do things together. They want to be asked to go to the Zoo when my company gives free tickets. They want to feel part of the family? Maybe. I think they are just so used to doing things the selfish way... that they are just using the people around them. Too bad too, because I liked seeing them.

So yeah... I'm annoyed. It just brought a well if animosity to the forefront. But this isn't about Paul and his relationship with his brother... or mine for that matter. It's about me and Paul... and I need to remember that. I need to not let the BS cloud my thinking.

But either way... ugh... some people really don't deserve your love or hospitality. I'll remember who should get cut from the list before I waste the money on invitations and stamps for the next event.

STEP OUT: to Fight Against Diabetes

Hi friends & family,
as many of you know, diabetes hits very close to home for me. Not just does it run in my current family, but also in Paul's. This weekend, I am participating in the Step Out to Fight Against Diabetes walk in NYC.

Through the years, diabetes management has been changing and improving. In order to continue improving the lives of people with diabetes, our support is needed. I know that money is tight and I know that everyone is trying to manage financially at this time, but even the smallest of donations can help.

Please go here to my page and support me and my friends on this weekend's walk. Our team is called Sugar High! We appreciate personal & general donations... really anything. It's time that the ADA get our attention!

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this even if you are unable to donate... even spreading awareness makes huge differences. Also, feel free to pass this along to anyone you think may be interested in either participating or donating.


If you are having trouble seeing my page, please copy and paste this link into your browser:
http://main.diabetes.org/site/TR/StepOut/GreaterNewYorkCityArea?px=6374677&pg=personal&fr_id=7224

Invitations!

Our invitations are guest bound... they've been posted (twice) are on their way!

Apparently the bow on the invite caused us to pay an extra 44 cents per envelope. And... I was only able to have 50 Invites hand canceled at a time.... good thing I only had 42 domestic invitations. So after a long couple of days of tying, stuffing, stamping and sealing.... and then stamping again... they are finally on their way!

Why I'm Marrying Him...

I know exactly why....

I came rushing home Saturday after a great day bonding with my baby sister to see Paul, get dressed and get out the door to celebrate my brother in law's birthday. In that mad rush of driving, dressing, and drinking... I must have forgot something.

Sunday while trying to get through our long day of running around, Paul held a plastic bag up and said, "shouldn't this be in the fridge"? Yes... yes it should have been. It was a Costco sized $20 worth package of chicken breasts that I had asked my mom to buy me. And now... now that was chicken's dying for nothing, $20 wasted, and food in the garbage while many human beings are starving in this world.

So what's the rational reaction to such discoveries? Crying hysterically at all the above things of course! With my period flowing fiercely and my emotions being crazy... I lost it. I buried my head in Paul's shoulder and balled about the chickens, the money, and the food... and what did Paul do. He held me tight and told me that it was okay and that it was a waste but only a mistake and that it would all be okay.

So yes, I want nothing more than to marry this man. Not because he accepts my irrational emotional outbursts... but because he loves me. He loves me simply... which is easily the purest kind of love.

I will walk 500 miles

because this very much might be true....

My family... particularly my siblings!




The Proclaimers - I Would Walk 500 Miles
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All I really want to do!

2 weekends ago, I was with my brother. We were talking about different things... such as apple picking, season ski passes, skis, snowboard lessons, the weather, the seasons, etc...

A few hours later we were hanging out and he just said "I just don't feel like doing anything anymore. I feel like I just wanna go skiing. Like I don't want to play soccer or go to school or do that other stuff. I just want to ski all the time. I wish it was winter time."

Really - I couldn't have said it better myself. I wish you all could hear his cute high voice as he said it too!

Anger

source

That's not hard to answer... I was lied to by someone I trusted with my whole self. I think feelings of hurt and betrayal bring about the worst types of anger. You become angry at the person whose hurt you and angry at yourself for letting them in close enough to hurt you in the 1st place.