Thursday, May 14, 2009
Today is perfectly dreary to match my mood. Our dog is being put to sleep today... It just plain sucks.
He isn't himself... hardly playful, hardly happy, hardly eating. He went from 98lbs to 54lbs and the vet tells us it's time to say goodbye before he really begins to suffer.
Years ago... young, excited, pet-less... our Uncle Edwin took us to Northshore Animal Shelter where Lauren fell in love with a chow chow mix... it had a purple and pink tie-die tongue and it was love at 1st site. We went home and begged and begged but my grandma said... NO, no more pets!
An aunt convinced her to just go and take a look... I wasn't home, so Lauren, my grams and an aunt went and it didn't take much convincing... they came home with Grizzly (the chow chow was already adopted - yey for us).
Griz is an all black Labrador retriever. He looked like a teddy bear and thus was named Grizzly Bear. He was the love of everyone's life. He loves to swim, play, go upstate, run, and hang with people and other dogs. He thinks he's human, always wanting to sit upright in a chair. When he's sick, we've even fed him with a spoon... he is much to sophisticated to eat strait out of a bowl.
A Few years ago we found a fatty tumor on his side. He had surgery and it was removed. We were told it wasn't cancer and he'd be okay... but he wasn't. He has a softball sized tumor in his neck which threatens to block his air passage, throat, and the nerves that help him to move. The tumor has grown over the years and the doctors don't think its safe to operate. He has also developed other small tumors throughout his body. As it turns out, our Grizzly does have cancer after all.
Today my family will accompany him to a vet for him to be put to sleep. He will be cremated and placed in an urn, just like our precious Sheba before him. We love our pets like family, and treat them as such.
Last night, Lauren, Edwin, Paul, Bryan and I all went to my grandma's to have our last moments with Grizzly. He was definitely not himself. He was tired, having trouble breathing, and irritated with his condition. He even smells sick. I've come to accept that it's time. I rather him die peacefully then suffer. Unlike humans, he is unable to complain, or tell us what he wants us to do. I hope we are making the right decision. I hope we are being humane. I hope we aren't killing a being who wants to live.
So today at 4PM my grandma, uncle and Lauren will all be with him and watch him take his last breath. A traumatizing event I'm sure.
He is the dog who loved to bury himself in snow so only his little black head would stick out.
He is the dog who would jump in any river no matter how strong the current or how deep.
He is the dog that acted like a small puppy during any thunderstorms, always scared, braking furniture looking for a hiding spot.
He is the dog who would sacrifice himself for his family... he is a good dog. We will miss him.
I pray that we are doing the right thing.
I pray that my family gets through this.
I pray that so soon after my grandpa's death, they can be okay.
And I pray that in heaven my grandpa will enjoy his companion he hasn't seen since August.