Today is a day of decompression. Why - because I feel stressed, wound up, confused, hustled and used. So I needed some pampering. Some strong fingers kneading the tension out of my back. And that's what I got.
After work I headed downtown a bit to the spa where I met my cousin. She is my new Spa buddy. It's hard to find someone to go with, but honestly, I'm more than fine going along. I like hanging out with my cousin though. We are within the same age group and though we don't have tons of similar interest we have enough to keep it fun and enough differences to keep it interesting.
After meeting up we were treated to an hour + massage. My back hurt but in a good way. My legs were soothed. They massaged every part of me except my nipples and female area. It was amazing. I never knew how much my breast area would need a massage (those aren't even muscles ... right?) and oh my behind. How it has been sat on day in and day out at work... it needed a good rub. My feet... my hands... my soul... was comforted. It was amazing.
But after all that bliss the woman performing my facial came in. That part... not as relaxing (during some parts). They cleansed, they toned, they extracted, they exfoliated, they massaged... and massaged... and massaged some more. That might have been the best part... the multiple massages. How my naked skin was slathered with warm oils and rubbed like I'd rub a good pork shoulder before roasting. MMM.
But it was also a little funny... why? because my stomach would growl like the dickens. Because rather than remain relaxed, I remembered my family, alternate side parking, packing for the weekend. Why couldn't I just relax? So I prayed. I asked God to give me peace. I made a conscious effort to be still, breath deep, and think only about balance. And I did. It worked. I was released physically, mentally and emotionally from the twisting stress I've endured.
While giving in to the bliss that is a spa day, I smiled. Live is good. I am happy. No, life is not perfect. Live is not stress free. But it's not meant to be. I'm truly living it. I'm truly loving it. My family drama... is trumped. It's trumped by the love I feel for them. It's trumped by the smile my heart feels when I hear my siblings voice. It's trumped by the future with my cousins and siblings. And it's trumped by Paul. My future family... my beginning of my own contribution to this extended tangle of happiness, laughs, and tears. I'm being free. I'm working to live but I am not living to work. I'm enjoying the deep breaths, the warm air, the bright sun, wet rains, green grass, white snow... I'm traveling. I'm living and I'm loving. And because of that.... I've found balance and I've found peace. I just need to keep it. To handle it with care... to not forget it when I'm in times of challenge. And I will try to meditate, to love, and to be open. Because my life is not perfect, it's a balance, but it's filled with love.