I have it. I can admit it. And I'm embracing it.
I don't have the baby fever you would think... well that's a lie. Maybe I do. I desperately want to be a mother. I want to feel that precious gift of life grow inside me. And I want to raise it as best I can with my husband if God so chooses to bless us with a little bundle of joy.
But I also want to adopt. I've always entertained quick thoughts of adoption... they float through my brain and pass through my lips on occasion. But today was different. I did some preliminary research. I looked into it. I thought hard about it... and I want to give a child who has so little (no love, no family, no comfort) everything I can. I want to give them a life they'd otherwise not be able to live.
And I took it one step further. I wrote to Paul and told him how I felt. And my heart skipped a happy beat when he replied... "I completely agree." I knew I married this man for a reason... because he's absolutely amazing!
I sit here now, sucking on a peanut m&m thinking of all the children who've barely eaten. I think of the boys and girls in places like Libya and Sierra Leone. I don't know if we have the strength to adopt someone whose grown in such an abusive and violent place... but at the same time, I can't bare to think to leave a child there who can otherwise be with us. Then there are the children of Europe, Asia & South America... born to parents who just couldn't do it, even without a civil war. And then there are those right here at home. Children having children. The poor unable to provide. The abusive. There are just so many children. If only we could all be their mother's and father's and take care of them all.